Following Your Head Or Your Heart

Ever hear people say, "Just follow your heart." First off, who are these "people" that say this kind of stuff? And second, sometimes following your heart isn't the path reality allows. My head and my heart are constantly at war and because I usually put others before myself, my head wins and I endure the pain of not allowing my heart to choose.

It's very easy to judge other people's choices and the paths they take. But only they know the motivation behind the choice and maybe their hearts guided them, maybe not. Either way, following your heart is harder than making the logical decision or doing what is considered "the right thing to do" because following your heart is a leap of faith. There is only hope that everything will work out the way you want it to.

"You play with fire, you might get burned, but the thrill of doing something dangerous will always be with you." It's the experiences in life that make us who we are, and the way we handle those experiences are a true judge of character.

I worry about everything constantly and always ponder the outcome of countless scenarios. I don't have the courage to follow my heart because I'm scared of what will happen. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a huge control freak and if I can't predict the outcome of a certain situation I usually don't even try. Sometimes I more afraid of failing than trying at all and that in itself is a failure. There are probably countless things I have missed out on because I was too afraid to try and give something new a chance.

So, recently I decided I was tired of being scared and always wondering "what if?" and I've stepped out of my comfort zone and already done things I would never have done before as a way to fill the void in my heart, make it whole again, and become the fearless woman I know is inside me somewhere. I've been talking about cutting all my hair off for years. I would make appointment and end up only trimming my hair, or only getting a few inches cut off the ends. A few weeks ago I finally did it. I cut over ten inches off my hair and now have a pixie cut. The best part is that I was able to donate it all to Locks of Love.

There are several other BIG life changes taking place, I'm just not ready to blog about it yet. ;) Never be afraid to do ANYTHING or follow your heart. You never know where life will lead you, but it won't lead you anywhere until you take that first step forward!

**Beautiful In Your Skin**

There is a lot of buzz about weight and being healthy, or I should say being skinny. I don't want anyone to think I am being a hypocrite with this post. I work out four to five days a week, and am a pretty fit person. This is a personal choice and isn't done because I am obsessed with being skinny. Working out is a true passion and something I enjoy.

I'm not on the elliptical for hours on end, or starving myself all week. I do a few group fitness classes like Absolute Core, and Cycle. These classes are so inspiring and uplifting.

I also work in some weight training for healthy strong muscles. Every women should know how to through a freaking killer punch...and hurt the person their hitting, not themselves. :)

There is a big difference between being healthy and being a skinny waif. Being healthy entails eating the right foods, integrating exercise into your routine, getting enough sleep, and drinking plenty of water. Someone can be skinny and be unhealthy. Your body needs food. We sometimes don't eat the right kinds.

There are certain vitamins and nutrients your body needs and fast food and soda isn't part of that at all.

We all need to maintain a healthy body fat level but it's hard to do that if you have no clue what yours is or what the numbers mean. Any local gym can test your body fat levels.

For women, the average body fat level is 25%-31% but keep in mind obese is 32% or more. Fitness is between 21%-24% and athletes are between 14%-20% below that we get into the Essential fat, 10%-13% which is the minimum amount of fat your body needs.

Body fat is only one measure of health, but there are dangers to having excess body fat. It's linked to things such as heart disease, cancer and diabetes. If you are obese, it takes more energy for you to breathe, causing your heart to work harder to pump blood through your veins. All this extra work can cause your heart to become enlarged and result in high blood pressure and erratic heart beats.

Your body fat levels can also be too low, making you more susceptible to getting colds/flu. This can also stop your menstrual cycle making you temporarily infertile. If you stop menstruating, you could develop a condition known as amenorrhea, you may experience a decrease in hormones that can cause premature bone loss due to insufficient estrogen production.

The most important thing is to know your health. Know your blood pressure and cholesterol levels. Our minds are fixated on fatty, sugary foods because they give us a quick boost of energy. But do you ever notice how quickly your energy plummets?

Beauty and health isn't whats on the outside, it's what's on the inside.
If you eat half a bag of baby carrots, I promise you won't feel full and sluggish the way you do when you eat half a bag of chips.

If you take care of your body, it will take care of you. Ask yourself this: would you sit down and eat little pieces of shit? Or drink processed chemicals? Probably not right? Well... take a good look at the ingredients of what you consume on a daily basis and think again!

You don't have to go on some freak diet, or starve yourself. You really don't. Just change your habits. Instead of going through the drive-thru, take an extra five minutes to pack your lunch for work. Eat more whole grains and minimally unprocessed foods. Toss that bag of Doritos and take an apple and a handful of almonds. You will feel more energized and remember a healthy you is a beautiful you no matter what size, shape, or color your body is!

YOUR BEAUTIFUL! Stretch marks are beautiful, shape is beautiful. Your body tells a story of the amazing journey you have been through as a woman.

Throwing Stones

My facebook status has been inspiring blog posts so writing a blog post two days in a row is freaking awesome for me.

I was thinking about how easy it is to point fingers and judge other people for their actions or choices. We are all so quick to criticize, even I'm so guilty of this at times.

Here is a little test for you:

You're walking down a city street and you see a homeless man laying on top of a cardboard box. His teeth are rotten and brown, clothes tattered and dirty. Completely shameless, he holds out a cup trying to collect money for his next meal. He is weak and mumbling.

Now, do you feel badly for him and throw some change in his cup, or are you annoyed and grossed out by this man?

What if I told you this man's family was killed in a house fire and he watched his daughter slowly burn to death because he wasn't able to reach her. Because of this tragedy he began drinking to cope with the pain and lost his job. Not caring what happened to him, he fell victim to the streets without any motivation to pick him back up. So now what do you think about this man?

Here's another one:

You read about some thug who shot two police officers and tried run when arrested for dealing drugs. You immediately think he is a horrible person right? Someone who deserves to rot in jail forever.

What if I told you that this particular man grew up in poverty with six brothers and sisters and never knew as a child when or if he would eat. He repeatedly watched his mom bring home different men and barely stayed in one apartment long enough to remember his address. He was always hungry and cold so he found a way to make money and protect himself. He was never motivated, felt loved, or even hugged.

Our actions as friends, as parents affect the way other people's lives turn out. We are more powerful than we think we are. Have you ever been starving or had your heat or electricity cut off? Have you ever experienced a death of a loved one so horrible it was impossible to shut your eyes? Have you ever been terrified of falling asleep?

You never know what your capable of doing when when put in a compromising situation or what you would do to ensure your children had some kind of food or shelter. Maybe your the person right now who is thinking these people should have known better or found God or reached out to someone.

These are easy suggestions and people do desperate things in desperate situations. No one has the right to judge someone or point a finger. Open your mind and think about the series of events of that particular person's life that may have lead them to where they are.

Maybe you can be the one to make a change or offer help. You never know until you try. All it takes is one person to say, "I'm here for you and I want to make a difference."

People might just surprise you if you give them a chance. Keep your head up and your eyes open. Race, clothes, class, even someones behavior does not always define them.

First impressions suck! Sometimes we need to take a deeper look.

Keep Moving Forward

This is my first post of the New Year. I know, shame on me for waiting almost a whole month before getting to it.

Whether it's a job, or friends,the weather--if you live where I do! Things in life hardly ever stay the same. Life itself is constantly changing and growing, maybe even getting better is some ways.

I was out with a good friend of mine last week and we got talking about life and how fast time passes us by. We then realized that this year we turn twenty-seven and are only three years away from being thirty. This concept seriously freaked me out because I don't feel almost thirty or think I look like it either, but hey, I'm hopeful.

Having that conversation made me realize how short life is and that in any given moment fate can throw us a curve ball and things can spiral into a new direction, sometimes for the better and other times for the worst.

All we can do is keep moving forward, surround ourselves with inspiring and loving people and never loose faith that what is meant to be with happen when it is supposed to. Not to say you aren't allowed to do whatever it takes to speed up the process because nothing in life is handed to us... unless you're the child of a celebrity.

"**Sometimes we have to endure things we don't want to and deal with pain so deep it hurts to breathe-- Staying strong and moving forward is half the battle--Waking up one morning and realizing you got through it in one piece is winning the war**"

The most important thing to remember is no matter what you go through in life, or how bad the pain you're feeling is, it will fade with time, it will end one day and you will be a much stronger person.

Everyone has made mistakes or did something to hurt somebody else, so... apologize, or admit to being wrong. Things won't fix themselves and someone has to take the first step.

Resolutions

It's New Year's Eve and everyone is making party plans or figuring out what their New Year's resolution is going to be. The truth is, you don't really need a New Year to make a new start or even a resolution. A fresh start can happen any time or any day you want it to. The resolution isn't agreeing with yourself to work out more, or quit smoking. It's to stop saying you will and just do it. It's not picking a new year or "next monday" it's now. Hell, it was yesterday.

Did you know it can take about 66 days to form a habit? So when your making those resolutions think about whether you can be consistent enough for it to stick.

So don't just make resolutions you know you won't keep. Make a plan to make a change. Don't even do that, just start, right this minute. Whether it's a change for your own life, or a plan to help someone change their life. Every ounce of motivation helps and sometimes all someone needs is a little push in the right direction and a lot of support.

My plan is to motivate and encourage not just friends and family, but people I don't even know yet.

Happy New Year!!!!

Figuring out the "Why"

After what happened yesterday on the Virginia Tech campus it really started to make me think about people and why they make the choices they do. It's fair to say everyone has been in situations where something was done to you and you couldn't figure out why that person would want to hurt you. Maybe you were the one doing the hurting.

Either way, I believe everyone is capable of doing things they wouldn't even dream of doing. Good and bad. There are so many environmental and emotional factors that drive certain kinds of people to do certain things. It's easy to place blame and point a finger but who are you to really judge anybody. Is your soul flawless of error and unkindness? I doubt it.

I have made so many horrible choices in my life, but do those things define who I truly am and make me a bad person. Of course not. There is a difference between being a truly bad person and just making bad decisions.

Being able to learn from those mistakes and move on is equally important. Taking a deeper look can sometimes clarify unanswered questions. There is a victim and a suspect, right? How do you know if at one point that suspect wasn't a victim themselves? People are a product of their environment and don't always have the knowledge or resources to make the right choices or become better people.

If you don't give people a second chance, or forgiveness, who will? If we aren't trying to change lives and inspire people to be better, what will our future look like?

Everyone feels bad for the family of the victim, but what about the family and mother and father of the suspect? I bet they are going through a similar pain. A disgusted kind of sorrow that their child is capable of something so terrible.

Everyone has a breaking point, and anyone is capable of being pushed over the edge. Some have more tolerance and control over their emotions than other's. Any series of events can lead to another series of events and so on. Things can always take a turn for the worse, even when we don't expect it.

Have faith and be supportive of everyone. You never know if your positive influence or choice to intervene could be potentially saving a life.

**Inspire someone, anyone, to be better**

Doing Good

Maybe it's that I'm getting older (not that 26 is old) or I'm realizing how fast life passes by and how quickly things can change. When I was younger, I foolishly believed things in my life would remain constant, never shifting far from my comfort zone.But life is always throwing me curve balls and changing at the blink of an eye.

I've had this unbelievable urge to pay it forward in a sense and go out of my way to do someone a favor or make a complete stranger smile. My husband and I were driving to the store yesterday and right in the middle of the road was a plastic bag and it's contents spilled all over the street. Not just papers or trash, but seven beer cans. I made Greg pull over so I could pick everything up and throw it away at the gas station down the road. A few of the cans donned some left over stale beer at the bottom and the smell was horrible. Touching it with my bare hands was even worse but in that moment, making sure someone didn't run over it and get a flat tire seemed more important to me.

My husband, by the way, thought I was crazy for walking in the middle of the road and picking up someone's trash. I read a story once, about a man walking along the beach, retrieving starfish that had washed up on shore and throwing them back into the ocean. When told he couldn't possible save enough to make a difference he picked up another starfish, threw it into the water and said, "I made a difference to that one."No matter how small a favor or kind act may seem, it's making a difference to someone.

You never know how big of a difference you're truly making. Whether it's as big as buying groceries for a family in need, befriending someone who needs you, or simply telling someone they look nice; it all makes a difference.

Here is my proposal for the weekend:
Do something completely selfless for someone random like . . .

1. If your getting coffee and there is someone waiting behind you, pay for their coffee too. :)

2. Baby-sit a friends kids so they can have some free time, and don't put a time limit on it

3. Have a friend that has been wanting something specific for a while. Buy it for them, wrap it, and leave it on their car or front porch without saying who it's from.

4. Volunteer at a nursing home, library, hospital, or animal shelter.

5. Make yourself available to friends, family, or anyone who may not ask or admit that they need help Offer, mean it, and follow through.

The above suggestions are just suggestions but sometimes the greatest gift is giving to others.