Freak The Freak Out

Last night I had a pretty ridiculous emotional breakdown. It wasn't over anything specific. My daughter went to bed at 7:15 without so much as a whimper. My son and I watched a movie and he was asleep by nine. All in all a successful night.

I lit some candles, snuggled up on the couch and enjoyed the silence. I started thinking, a bit too much perhaps, about my life and where it was headed. Then I did the worst thing any person can do. I started comparing my life to other people my age and quickly began to feel like a failure.

Michele (my beautiful sister) has received countless promotions and is living it up in The Big Apple.

Chris (my brother) is just about a signature away from a record deal
You haven't finished college

You're wasting your time writing this book

Just a few of the thoughts that ran circles in my mind until it started spilling down my face for the following hour.

Sure, I am a great mother. I have overcome and accomplished so much in my life it would take a nine hundred page book and then some to cover it all. But I felt like there was still so much I wanted to accomplish and so little time to make it happen.

The worst thing I experienced last night was, feeling like I have worked my ass off for years, and still haven't reached my goal.

Yes, I am only twenty-five and still have so much of my life ahead of me, but for that hour last night, it dawned on me how fast time goes.

What road is best to travel? Maybe Robert Frost can help me figure that one out.

After a very emotional conversation with my brother, (he listened while I cried) he helped me realize how much I have to be thankful for and what I great job I am doing.

If it wasn't for my family, I don't know where my life would have drifted me. At the end of the day it doesn't matter if I ever get published, obtain a Master's degree, land a high paying job, or totally rule the world. ( I can dream a little, right?)

What matters is that I do things for me, and for my family. Success is not something defined by how much money you make, or how far you go in school or what school you graduate from. Success is an individual accomplishment that varies person to person.

I feel successful in my life right now. Nothing else really matters.

Seeing The Beauty

Maybe it is the aspiring writer within myself, feeling the constant need to adjust or fix everything, but I have re arranged my playroom for the seventh time this morning. One entire wall is brick and until this morning have yet to integrate it into the room. By simply placing an incredibly funky yet subtle mirror on the brick, it gave the room a whole new vibe.

When I look around I am constantly thinking of ways I can make something better. Always fidgeting, folding, adjusting, and moving picture frames, couches, blankets.

Maybe this means I have completely lost my mind and in forty or fifty years will be the nutty bag lady with way too many dogs who is always weeding a garden that doesn't have any weeds.

Or it is possible that I see the beauty in everything around me and the potential it holds deep within itself. My house for example as most of you know was purchased as a foreclosure. My husband and I have since been renovating every room in an attempt to unveil it's perfection.

I believe there comes a time that if you renovate too much or edit too much or pick someone apart too much, you begin to strip away someone or somethings true character while trying to turn it into something else.

If you have ever sanded a piece of wood, you know you have to "go with the grain". The same concept applies to life and novels and people. Sometimes the "flaws" aren't really flaws at all. It is something unique that we should try to see the beauty in by accepting it and working with it, not against it.

When Duty Calls

Today is the third annual Blacksburg Fork and Cork. I envisioned myself leisurely walking around sipping good wine and tasting delicious foods from various restaurants.

But, the only thing I will be doing today is getting my face painted and forcing myself to munch on a greasy slice of luke warm pizza that has been sitting in a box under the sun all afternoon at the school carnival. Then, I get to tote my already exhausted kids to my sons soccer game and attempt to keep Layla happy while simultaneously cheering on my son.

I have to do the mom thing today, instead of doing the, what I really want to do thing. I even came up with a possible solution, a compromise. I thought if I poured some wine into a water bottle I could pretend that I was actually walking around the Fork and Cork and not the carnival, but then driving around under the influence with kids in the car is just stupid, so that idea is out. My other solution was telling my son his soccer game was cancelled and taking the kids with me to the Fork and Cork...but that's just too cruel to even talk about any further.

Sometimes the boring kid stuff just has to come before the things we as moms would rather be doing. And despite the complaining, once we get to the carnival I know I will realize there isn't any other place I would rather be then with my kids, getting my face painted, carrying melted flavored ice as it drips down my arms causing everything to stick to my hands, and sipping a warm bottle of water, not a crisp glass of wine.

Punish the Deed, Not the Breed

My family and I recently adopted a Rottweiler mix and the reaction from some friends and family was, "Are you guys crazy. Those dogs are so dangerous!"

This is just one of many breeds that has been pinpointed for scrutinizing. The Rottweiler, among Pit bulls and others are a particular breed that is manipulated to become aggressive and dangerous, therefore singled out as being evil. If any dog is mistreated, chained up, not spayed or neutered, or not socialized properly they are at risk for being dangerous.

The Rottweiler is listed as the ninth smartest dog in the world. They are incredibly loyal and loving. Maggie, our Rottie, is only eight weeks old and already housebroken!

Not everybody is a responsible pet owner, and owning certain dog breeds requires the proper knowledge, time, and ability to socialize and train your pet. Not doing so results in an unbalanced, dangerous animal.

It isn't fair to blame a particular breed in general. The situation needs to be broken down to a case by case basis. What were the circumstances that these particular dogs attacked?

In a recent case last February, a Rottweiler attacked a five year old boy after the dog was left in the care of a drug addict and the parents of the little boy said, " I blame the owner more than the animal."

This particular Rottweiler obviously wasn't socialized properly and was running around a community garden scared and without supervision. Not having responsible owners resulted in a very unbalanced animal. The dog was destroyed after the attack, which is also unfair.

The drug addict that was supposed to be responsible for the dog was offered rehabilitation, and the dog was killed.

If a child isn't raised in a safe consistent environment, and that child goes to school in a bad mood, causing them to attack, or get into a fight with another student causing that child to need hospitalization and stitches, do we put the child that started the fight to sleep, deeming them "unbalanced and out of control?"

Dogs deserve rehabilitation too. They don't choose their owners or how they are raised. A child bites someone and we say, "oh, they don't know any better, it's just a phase."
A puppy, or dog bites someone, and we say, "oh my god, that dog is bad, just put him down."

How can we expect a dog to know better if they were never trained to know better?

Owning any dog breed is a risk, and there are never any guarantees, but taking every precaution and doing everything you can as a dog owner is the key to a happy balanced pet.Research a particular breed before commiting to ownership and make sure you know how to train your pet.

Most importantly, time for your pet in important too. Adopting a dog, then letting it roam around your yard by itself all day, or chaining it up isn't being a good pet owner.

Socialize your pet by bringing it with you on long walks, soccer games, dog parks, or out to lunch. Especially Rottweilers, who tend to be cautious of strangers. Know your breed before you buy. Keep and open mind, don't judge.

Check out this link! http://www.librarydogs.com/Missouri_Hero-Halo-Megan.html
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My Mood With Food

With two kids, an eighty pound dog, a new puppy, and a husband who works all the time, I am usually left to fend for myself at some of the most difficult times of the day. The dreaded homework hour, trying to keep my daughter and our new puppy busy during my son's soccer practice and the most difficult task...making dinner.

Grilling chicken stove-top while slowly sipping a glass of red wine is a nightly fantasy of mine. The reality check is me with my hair in a messy pony tail carrying a child in one arm, stirring with the other. My phone is usually ringing and at least once during dinner time, someone spills an entire glass of something all over themselves, the floor, and one of the dogs, who is anxiously waiting under the table where food is constantly falling.

Last night was one of those crazy nights. Sean's soccer game didn't end until after seven which means we weren't eating dinner until eight and after the indoor swimming pool my daughter made in the bathroom was cleaned up, I was ready for the night to be over.

My husband can usually tell what kind of a day it's been based on what we have had for dinner. If my response is, "We just had eggs and turkey bacon," he responds with, "Oh, no! What happened today?"

Now, if he comes home and I am sauteing mushrooms and onions beside mesquite chicken grilling, he knows it's safe to hug and kiss me hello.

I love the instant gratification that a naughty food choice gives me. The way an oreo tastes after it has been generously dunked in a frigid glass of milk. Buuut, since my weight loss/weight lifting journey began two years ago...I have to grab a handful of almonds and say, "Damn these almonds rock!" And mean it.

Kids love eating breakfast foods for dinner. My son told me I was the best mom in the whole world when I said, " Do you just want pancakes for dinner tonight?"

Worried about the veggies? Give them a glass of V8 splash and you are good to go.
Don't stress, no where on your grave will it say:THIS MOM DIDN"T MAKE GOURMET MEALS EVERY NIGHT!

Besides, it's only one night, right? Or two...okay okay maybe three depending on your week.

Spring Is Here

As you can tell, my blog has gotten a complete make-over. A new look and a fresh start is needed every once in a while to recharge yourself, or your surroundings. Have you ever rearranged some furniture or hung a new funky piece of art in your living room? Sometimes these small changes are a big deal. Life is so hectic and people are always in a hurry to get from point A to B but the most important place to actually be is your home.

With spring just around the corner, I know I feel that urge to declutter and maybe repaint the kids playroom, plant some flowers, and give myself a little jolt.

Between my daily trips to the gym, play class, soccer practice, karate, and swimming I am freaking exhausted. As a mom, it's super easy to give up and go to that drive thru for take-out or skip the am shower. Women are strong and amazing and I know we all have it in us to keep going. A few quick tips to keep yourself energized and looking fabulous. (Even when your lugging around a tote bag full of wet swim suits, or cheering on your little one at a soccer game.)

1. If you know your day is going to be a busy one, skip that sugar packed energy drink and take a multi-vitamin instead. Carry around healthy snacks like, almonds or walnuts, half a turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread with some fresh spinach, or red peppers and hummus. These all boost energy naturally and will leave you feeling fuller longer and not exceeding 200 calories.

2.Drink water. Getting dehydrated can leave you feeling pretty crappy. Plus, drinking plenty of water is fabulous for your skin.

3. Treat yourself to a small shopping trip, or a relaxing pedicure. Nothing like a new outfit to jump start a busy weekend. Strapped for cash? No biggie, stores like Charlotte Russe have amazing clearance racks and happy hour specials for even more savings.

4.Decluttering is always a breath of fresh air...once your done. Instead of throwing it away, give it away :) Once man's trash is another man's treasure. :)

5.Plant trees or flowers in your yard for some fun spring color. And, it's nice to look at when you pull in your driveway after a rough day. :)

6. Try something new, especially if you have some pent up frustrations or anger. Take up kick boxing or MMA. You'll burn a ton of calories and get to beat the crap out of a boxing bag.

So Caught Up

A very good friend of mine brought an amazing website to my attention last night. A couple got married in a cave in Ohio for one hundred dollars. Wearing mostly vintage, and using their surroundings as decor.

The simplicity behind this blew me away because weddings aren't about the couple getting married anymore, they are about how many people you can invite and what the centerpieces are going to look like. People get so preoccupied with "stuff", like the hottest shoes, or that great new Marc Jacobs bag.

Life should be more about the quality, not the quantity. The quality, meaning how you lived it and what you did for the people around you, not the quantity. It's not going to matter how many times you frequented that VIP club or how much you spent on a new top.

We are all so lost is the mindset that the more we spend the better it is, and the better we will feel. People loose sight of what is really important.

Let's say you are bringing a baby into the world, you go out and spend two thousand plus dollars on a new crib, bedding....the works. Do you think that baby gives a shit what brand his crib bedding is. Hell no! All he cares about is being loved and fed.

Another good friend of mine lost his grandmother this past week and I read that in lieu of flowers, she wanted people to donate to The Susan G Koman breast cancer foundation and the Blacksburg Rescue Squad. I found that truly amazing.

Life is what it is, and people are just busy in general but here are a few ways to change it up a bit.

1. Eat healthier without breaking the bank on so called "organic" grocery store fruits and veggies. Plant a garden in your backyard or pot some of your favorites and keep them in your kitchen. It's free, it's fun, and you'll know exactly where what you are eating is coming from.

2.Turn off the electronics every once in a while and go for a walk, or nestle up with a good book.

3.If creating your own garden is too much, visit your local farmers market and support their hard work, meet new people and learn how to do something new.

4.Get a bunch of friends together,(kids too) and using corks, mason jars, egg cartons, and whatever else is laying around, create a mural or gift and give it to someone who needs some love.