Wants and Needs

It's been a while since I have posted anything-- Life tends to get in the way, and sometimes it goes in a direction that you don't plan for. My life took an unexpected turn, and it opened my eyes to a lot.

People in general think they are entitled to a lot. We also think we "NEED" things. And by things I mean, specific styles, clothes, furniture, more than one or two, or even three of things. We convince ourselves we need more space, new things, or just shit around our house that looks nice.

If you close your eyes, or were blind. How much of that stuff  you think you need even matters. I can answer that for you. None of it! Now, answer these questions. Is there a roof over your head? Are you warm and clothed? You can't see the clothes your wearing so as long as they fit, fuck what brand they are. If you answered yes, which you should have, you are already have more than most people.

Why do you work? To make money, right? What do you spend most of your money on? I bet on a lot of shit you don't even need. You think you need a bigger house, or a better car.

I'm finally settled in my townhouse, and the appliances aren't what anyone would consider new. Brand new-- a few years old-- whatever. They do the same thing. A fridge keeps your food cold, oven heats it up. People are very easily convinced that if it looks newer it does a better job of keeping your food cold. Well, it doesn't and you're an idiot. The fridge in my townhouse doesn't have an ice maker--so I fill ice trays. One day my son said to me, "Why can't we just put the glass up to the fridge and get ice like normal people."

This really bothered me because kids become accustomed to things that make them appreciate everything less and less. My response to him was, "Be thankful you have an ice cube to put in your drink at all."

As long as the sun comes out everyday and we have the illusion that everything in this world is great, we will all go on being convinced we need newer stuff, and have to upgrade to this, and buy that. You should stop and ask yourself what the hell you are doing. Simplify your life and appreciate the smallest things. Ask yourself what you would do without it, because I guarantee that you don't even really need it.

Try these few things and see if you can actually follow through.

1. Close your eyes and pick out your clothes blind for two days in a row.

2. Take a road trip--without the use of mapquest or any electronic device.

3. (If your feeling giving) Go through everything in your house, and ask yourself if you really need it. If you don't, just give it to someone who really does.

Happy Father's Day Daddy!

There are all different kinds of father's in the world and I think a father's role gets overlooked. It takes a very special man to be an amazing dad. Women kind of get a head start when it comes to being a parent-- they feel love as soon as they take that first pregnancy test.

A father's love build and builds until the day his child is born and then he explodes with love. I know this because my own dad always refers to the day I was born and the love he felt for me. It must of been real love because my mom was in labor with me for 36 hours and I was the ugliest newborn baby ever.

Aside from that, I spent mornings watching my dad get ready for work,and I have fond memories of him blasting music in our living room and dancing with us, to humming me to sleep every night as a little girl. A tune I now hum to my children.

Girls especially, well... me especially... didn't make being a father any easier on my dad. I always say I am responsible for all his gray hair because of the things I have done, the boys I brought home for him to meet, and crazy life choices I was "so sure were the right ones".

Throughout it all, no matter how bad things were, or how terrified I was to tell him something, he has always stood beside me, supporting me, and helping me find a way to make things better. He has never judged me or loved me any less because of it.

My dad is a father who has gone even further than above and beyond not just for me, but for his whole family. It's his driving force in life and means more to him than anything else. I want my dad to know that he means more to me than anything else and I can't even imagine who I would be today if I didn't have his constant advice and unbelievable work ethic and love for his family. My dad doesn't just talk about life and the way things should be, he is an amazing example of what it takes to be a wonderful dad.

I feel incredibly blessed and so lucky to have such an incredible dad and a strong sense of faith and family! I love you so much, Daddy! Happy Father's Day to an upstanding MAN and FATHER!!!

It's been quite a while since I have blogged and there is good reason for that. Let's just say life doesn't always follow the path we set for ourselves, or we end up following the path other people are on and like I told a friend of mine, all that does is lead us somewhere we were never supposed to be in the first place and we have to start completely over again.

Some people have a very lucid idea of what their life holds for them starting in high school. They know exactly what college they are going to, what they will study, and even what kind of job they will get when they graduate, maybe even who they will marry how many children they will have and so on...

Me-- I've never really known. I wasn't even sure I wanted kids until I found out I was pregnant with my son, Sean. Then again with my daughter, Layla. Life has a funny way of deciding for us. I am completely blessed life threw me those curve balls because it was the most amazing twist in my haphazard idea of a plan.

There comes a time when we have to stop letting life decide and we need to take control back and decide for ourselves. We need to make things happen for ourselves instead of just letting things happen to ourselves.

I've had to make some crazy hard decisions lately, decisions that are a result of me taking control of my own life back. It is the scariest thing I've ever done, but I've never been more sure that what I'm doing is right.

People in general have a way of making you question yourself and your character. I've come to the conclusion that life itself doesn't suck, people suck... some people anyway, and if you surround yourself with the right kind of people, life can be amazing and inspiring and good. There are still honest, loving, and loyal people in the world, you just have to weed out the assholes and find them. Unfortunately, there are crazy uphill battles we go through in order to figure out who is really standing besides us.

But the good ones will be the ones that offer a helping hand or a kind embrace without expecting anything in return. They will be the ones who offer objective advice and supportive actions and who will stick it out with you no matter how bad or uncomfortable things get. And when they do get bad, they are the ones calling you everyday to make sure you are okay.

People do things with all kinds of intentions and motives. Emotion drives peoples decisions instead of logic sometimes. And there is always a time and place for everything. There is a time when emotion needs to be taken into consideration and then a time when he needs to be pushed aside.

Only I know what is right and best for me, and that may not be what is right or best for someone else, but it's my life and no matter what anyone says, or what anyone does, nobody can take that from me!

Following Your Head Or Your Heart

Ever hear people say, "Just follow your heart." First off, who are these "people" that say this kind of stuff? And second, sometimes following your heart isn't the path reality allows. My head and my heart are constantly at war and because I usually put others before myself, my head wins and I endure the pain of not allowing my heart to choose.

It's very easy to judge other people's choices and the paths they take. But only they know the motivation behind the choice and maybe their hearts guided them, maybe not. Either way, following your heart is harder than making the logical decision or doing what is considered "the right thing to do" because following your heart is a leap of faith. There is only hope that everything will work out the way you want it to.

"You play with fire, you might get burned, but the thrill of doing something dangerous will always be with you." It's the experiences in life that make us who we are, and the way we handle those experiences are a true judge of character.

I worry about everything constantly and always ponder the outcome of countless scenarios. I don't have the courage to follow my heart because I'm scared of what will happen. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a huge control freak and if I can't predict the outcome of a certain situation I usually don't even try. Sometimes I more afraid of failing than trying at all and that in itself is a failure. There are probably countless things I have missed out on because I was too afraid to try and give something new a chance.

So, recently I decided I was tired of being scared and always wondering "what if?" and I've stepped out of my comfort zone and already done things I would never have done before as a way to fill the void in my heart, make it whole again, and become the fearless woman I know is inside me somewhere. I've been talking about cutting all my hair off for years. I would make appointment and end up only trimming my hair, or only getting a few inches cut off the ends. A few weeks ago I finally did it. I cut over ten inches off my hair and now have a pixie cut. The best part is that I was able to donate it all to Locks of Love.

There are several other BIG life changes taking place, I'm just not ready to blog about it yet. ;) Never be afraid to do ANYTHING or follow your heart. You never know where life will lead you, but it won't lead you anywhere until you take that first step forward!

**Beautiful In Your Skin**

There is a lot of buzz about weight and being healthy, or I should say being skinny. I don't want anyone to think I am being a hypocrite with this post. I work out four to five days a week, and am a pretty fit person. This is a personal choice and isn't done because I am obsessed with being skinny. Working out is a true passion and something I enjoy.

I'm not on the elliptical for hours on end, or starving myself all week. I do a few group fitness classes like Absolute Core, and Cycle. These classes are so inspiring and uplifting.

I also work in some weight training for healthy strong muscles. Every women should know how to through a freaking killer punch...and hurt the person their hitting, not themselves. :)

There is a big difference between being healthy and being a skinny waif. Being healthy entails eating the right foods, integrating exercise into your routine, getting enough sleep, and drinking plenty of water. Someone can be skinny and be unhealthy. Your body needs food. We sometimes don't eat the right kinds.

There are certain vitamins and nutrients your body needs and fast food and soda isn't part of that at all.

We all need to maintain a healthy body fat level but it's hard to do that if you have no clue what yours is or what the numbers mean. Any local gym can test your body fat levels.

For women, the average body fat level is 25%-31% but keep in mind obese is 32% or more. Fitness is between 21%-24% and athletes are between 14%-20% below that we get into the Essential fat, 10%-13% which is the minimum amount of fat your body needs.

Body fat is only one measure of health, but there are dangers to having excess body fat. It's linked to things such as heart disease, cancer and diabetes. If you are obese, it takes more energy for you to breathe, causing your heart to work harder to pump blood through your veins. All this extra work can cause your heart to become enlarged and result in high blood pressure and erratic heart beats.

Your body fat levels can also be too low, making you more susceptible to getting colds/flu. This can also stop your menstrual cycle making you temporarily infertile. If you stop menstruating, you could develop a condition known as amenorrhea, you may experience a decrease in hormones that can cause premature bone loss due to insufficient estrogen production.

The most important thing is to know your health. Know your blood pressure and cholesterol levels. Our minds are fixated on fatty, sugary foods because they give us a quick boost of energy. But do you ever notice how quickly your energy plummets?

Beauty and health isn't whats on the outside, it's what's on the inside.
If you eat half a bag of baby carrots, I promise you won't feel full and sluggish the way you do when you eat half a bag of chips.

If you take care of your body, it will take care of you. Ask yourself this: would you sit down and eat little pieces of shit? Or drink processed chemicals? Probably not right? Well... take a good look at the ingredients of what you consume on a daily basis and think again!

You don't have to go on some freak diet, or starve yourself. You really don't. Just change your habits. Instead of going through the drive-thru, take an extra five minutes to pack your lunch for work. Eat more whole grains and minimally unprocessed foods. Toss that bag of Doritos and take an apple and a handful of almonds. You will feel more energized and remember a healthy you is a beautiful you no matter what size, shape, or color your body is!

YOUR BEAUTIFUL! Stretch marks are beautiful, shape is beautiful. Your body tells a story of the amazing journey you have been through as a woman.

Throwing Stones

My facebook status has been inspiring blog posts so writing a blog post two days in a row is freaking awesome for me.

I was thinking about how easy it is to point fingers and judge other people for their actions or choices. We are all so quick to criticize, even I'm so guilty of this at times.

Here is a little test for you:

You're walking down a city street and you see a homeless man laying on top of a cardboard box. His teeth are rotten and brown, clothes tattered and dirty. Completely shameless, he holds out a cup trying to collect money for his next meal. He is weak and mumbling.

Now, do you feel badly for him and throw some change in his cup, or are you annoyed and grossed out by this man?

What if I told you this man's family was killed in a house fire and he watched his daughter slowly burn to death because he wasn't able to reach her. Because of this tragedy he began drinking to cope with the pain and lost his job. Not caring what happened to him, he fell victim to the streets without any motivation to pick him back up. So now what do you think about this man?

Here's another one:

You read about some thug who shot two police officers and tried run when arrested for dealing drugs. You immediately think he is a horrible person right? Someone who deserves to rot in jail forever.

What if I told you that this particular man grew up in poverty with six brothers and sisters and never knew as a child when or if he would eat. He repeatedly watched his mom bring home different men and barely stayed in one apartment long enough to remember his address. He was always hungry and cold so he found a way to make money and protect himself. He was never motivated, felt loved, or even hugged.

Our actions as friends, as parents affect the way other people's lives turn out. We are more powerful than we think we are. Have you ever been starving or had your heat or electricity cut off? Have you ever experienced a death of a loved one so horrible it was impossible to shut your eyes? Have you ever been terrified of falling asleep?

You never know what your capable of doing when when put in a compromising situation or what you would do to ensure your children had some kind of food or shelter. Maybe your the person right now who is thinking these people should have known better or found God or reached out to someone.

These are easy suggestions and people do desperate things in desperate situations. No one has the right to judge someone or point a finger. Open your mind and think about the series of events of that particular person's life that may have lead them to where they are.

Maybe you can be the one to make a change or offer help. You never know until you try. All it takes is one person to say, "I'm here for you and I want to make a difference."

People might just surprise you if you give them a chance. Keep your head up and your eyes open. Race, clothes, class, even someones behavior does not always define them.

First impressions suck! Sometimes we need to take a deeper look.

Keep Moving Forward

This is my first post of the New Year. I know, shame on me for waiting almost a whole month before getting to it.

Whether it's a job, or friends,the weather--if you live where I do! Things in life hardly ever stay the same. Life itself is constantly changing and growing, maybe even getting better is some ways.

I was out with a good friend of mine last week and we got talking about life and how fast time passes us by. We then realized that this year we turn twenty-seven and are only three years away from being thirty. This concept seriously freaked me out because I don't feel almost thirty or think I look like it either, but hey, I'm hopeful.

Having that conversation made me realize how short life is and that in any given moment fate can throw us a curve ball and things can spiral into a new direction, sometimes for the better and other times for the worst.

All we can do is keep moving forward, surround ourselves with inspiring and loving people and never loose faith that what is meant to be with happen when it is supposed to. Not to say you aren't allowed to do whatever it takes to speed up the process because nothing in life is handed to us... unless you're the child of a celebrity.

"**Sometimes we have to endure things we don't want to and deal with pain so deep it hurts to breathe-- Staying strong and moving forward is half the battle--Waking up one morning and realizing you got through it in one piece is winning the war**"

The most important thing to remember is no matter what you go through in life, or how bad the pain you're feeling is, it will fade with time, it will end one day and you will be a much stronger person.

Everyone has made mistakes or did something to hurt somebody else, so... apologize, or admit to being wrong. Things won't fix themselves and someone has to take the first step.

Resolutions

It's New Year's Eve and everyone is making party plans or figuring out what their New Year's resolution is going to be. The truth is, you don't really need a New Year to make a new start or even a resolution. A fresh start can happen any time or any day you want it to. The resolution isn't agreeing with yourself to work out more, or quit smoking. It's to stop saying you will and just do it. It's not picking a new year or "next monday" it's now. Hell, it was yesterday.

Did you know it can take about 66 days to form a habit? So when your making those resolutions think about whether you can be consistent enough for it to stick.

So don't just make resolutions you know you won't keep. Make a plan to make a change. Don't even do that, just start, right this minute. Whether it's a change for your own life, or a plan to help someone change their life. Every ounce of motivation helps and sometimes all someone needs is a little push in the right direction and a lot of support.

My plan is to motivate and encourage not just friends and family, but people I don't even know yet.

Happy New Year!!!!

Figuring out the "Why"

After what happened yesterday on the Virginia Tech campus it really started to make me think about people and why they make the choices they do. It's fair to say everyone has been in situations where something was done to you and you couldn't figure out why that person would want to hurt you. Maybe you were the one doing the hurting.

Either way, I believe everyone is capable of doing things they wouldn't even dream of doing. Good and bad. There are so many environmental and emotional factors that drive certain kinds of people to do certain things. It's easy to place blame and point a finger but who are you to really judge anybody. Is your soul flawless of error and unkindness? I doubt it.

I have made so many horrible choices in my life, but do those things define who I truly am and make me a bad person. Of course not. There is a difference between being a truly bad person and just making bad decisions.

Being able to learn from those mistakes and move on is equally important. Taking a deeper look can sometimes clarify unanswered questions. There is a victim and a suspect, right? How do you know if at one point that suspect wasn't a victim themselves? People are a product of their environment and don't always have the knowledge or resources to make the right choices or become better people.

If you don't give people a second chance, or forgiveness, who will? If we aren't trying to change lives and inspire people to be better, what will our future look like?

Everyone feels bad for the family of the victim, but what about the family and mother and father of the suspect? I bet they are going through a similar pain. A disgusted kind of sorrow that their child is capable of something so terrible.

Everyone has a breaking point, and anyone is capable of being pushed over the edge. Some have more tolerance and control over their emotions than other's. Any series of events can lead to another series of events and so on. Things can always take a turn for the worse, even when we don't expect it.

Have faith and be supportive of everyone. You never know if your positive influence or choice to intervene could be potentially saving a life.

**Inspire someone, anyone, to be better**

Doing Good

Maybe it's that I'm getting older (not that 26 is old) or I'm realizing how fast life passes by and how quickly things can change. When I was younger, I foolishly believed things in my life would remain constant, never shifting far from my comfort zone.But life is always throwing me curve balls and changing at the blink of an eye.

I've had this unbelievable urge to pay it forward in a sense and go out of my way to do someone a favor or make a complete stranger smile. My husband and I were driving to the store yesterday and right in the middle of the road was a plastic bag and it's contents spilled all over the street. Not just papers or trash, but seven beer cans. I made Greg pull over so I could pick everything up and throw it away at the gas station down the road. A few of the cans donned some left over stale beer at the bottom and the smell was horrible. Touching it with my bare hands was even worse but in that moment, making sure someone didn't run over it and get a flat tire seemed more important to me.

My husband, by the way, thought I was crazy for walking in the middle of the road and picking up someone's trash. I read a story once, about a man walking along the beach, retrieving starfish that had washed up on shore and throwing them back into the ocean. When told he couldn't possible save enough to make a difference he picked up another starfish, threw it into the water and said, "I made a difference to that one."No matter how small a favor or kind act may seem, it's making a difference to someone.

You never know how big of a difference you're truly making. Whether it's as big as buying groceries for a family in need, befriending someone who needs you, or simply telling someone they look nice; it all makes a difference.

Here is my proposal for the weekend:
Do something completely selfless for someone random like . . .

1. If your getting coffee and there is someone waiting behind you, pay for their coffee too. :)

2. Baby-sit a friends kids so they can have some free time, and don't put a time limit on it

3. Have a friend that has been wanting something specific for a while. Buy it for them, wrap it, and leave it on their car or front porch without saying who it's from.

4. Volunteer at a nursing home, library, hospital, or animal shelter.

5. Make yourself available to friends, family, or anyone who may not ask or admit that they need help Offer, mean it, and follow through.

The above suggestions are just suggestions but sometimes the greatest gift is giving to others.

Thankful or Regretful Moms

It's that time of the year again when everyone is telling me to be thankful for what I have in life. I am very thankful and even consider myself incredibly lucky that I have a husband who works as hard as he does so I can be at home with my kids instead of having to drop them off at daycare. I have amazing in laws and very supportive parents.

I feel guilty when my mind wonders towards the what if's section. What if I focused on my career? What if I did go back to work after I had kids? What if? What if? I hate when people tell me not to focus on those things because I can't help it. I can imagine those what if's go both ways. I'm sure working mom's wish they were at home, and wonder how different their life would be if they stayed at hom. As a stay at home mom, I think about how my family would be financially if I worked full time. It's a sacrifice my husband and I both agreed on and were okay with.

My daughter is almost three and preschool age. Time for her to go to school and then time for me to do . . . what? Back to work? Go back to school? Have another baby? It's a whirlwind of what if's and impossible to determine the outcome of any of the choices.

Instead of focusing on the negatives of both sides, I came up with a list of things to be thankful for, for the working mom, and for the stay at home mom.

For The Working Mom

Be Thankful You . . .

1. Have a steady job
2. Have a reliable source of income
3. Possibly have benefits depending on your job
4. Can support your family by being a strong working mom
5. Can juggle work and family and rock doing it
6. Have a safe/fun place/person to look after your kids so you can work
7. Are brave enough to tackle the work force and be an amazing mother.

For The Stay At Home Mom

Be Thankful You . . .

1. Have the option to stay home and be with your kids
2. Get to experience the precious little moments day to day
3. Get to watch your child fall asleep
4. Are right there when they wake up
5. Are amazing enough to transform into a chef, nanny, imaginary friend, maid, and chauffeur at the drop of a hat
6. Are brave enough to give up your career to be a full time mom
7. Don't have to juggle work and family

While I sometimes miss have a job to go to everyday and being able to contribute to my family's income, I love knowing I don't have to get up, rush around, and worry about my kids all day. With Layla being a few months away from preschool, things will change. I may go back to work, or school. You can have the best of both worlds, just not at the same time.

Be thankful for the things you have in this moment and cherish every second of the life you have.

Two and Counting

I recently went to Disney World with my family. It was the VIP trip of a lifetime thanks to my Dad and Step-mom. We had a personal tour guide that enabled us to skip lines and have VIP seating during the incredible plays and shows. We ate dinner at fantastic restaurants that offered decadent desserts and yummy drinks.

As amazing as this all was, traveling and going on vacations with two kids in tow makes things much different compared to vacationing without them. Except, I can't even remember what it's like to not have a child holding my hand, complaining, or sitting on my lap while I eat.

The airplane ride for starters, while a success,(and by success I mean my almost three year old daughter didn't cry or try to get out of her seat during the two hour flight and my son happily listened to his iPod and read books) still takes a lot of energy and it's hard not to envy everyone else who is sleeping the entire time. We played games, colored, looked out the window, watched Elmo, sang songs, and by the time the plane landed I was already tired.

Day two was a full day in Magic Kingdom and while we rented a stroller, my daughter preferred the comfort of my arms more often then the stroller. Now, she weighs forty pounds and that forty pounds feel like one hundred after eight hours of carrying her around. But hey, I just considered it a really good cardio work-out and tried to pretend like I didn't want to fake an illness and lounge by the pool alone for the remainder of the day.

On the pool days, my sister slept in a lounge chair soaking up all the vitamin D her skin would ever dream of, while I helped Layla go up and down the water slide two hundred fucking times!!! Ahhh! Part of me misses those lazy days where nothing else mattered but myself but watching Layla's little face light up every time she slid down the water slide was priceless. And watching my son participate in poolside games meant more to me than sitting alone with a book.

It's rare if both kids are happy at the same time, yet they always manage to need me at the same time for different things. For some odd reason, not matter how content they are, as soon as I answer the phone or start going to the bathroom, I becomes the most sought out person in the house. There are days I have a mental countdown to their bedtime as I crave the quiet time to work on my book, or just sit without being climbed on.

I have great kids though. And my daughter was so incredibly well behaved on our Disney trip that I wanted to kiss her feet. When we got on the plane to go home and she balled up her favorite blanket, snuggled her Timon and went to sleep it was the perfect opportunity for me to rest. I couldn't stop staring at her though. Her beautiful curly blond hair was draped across her chubby face and her deep shallow breathing could hardly be heard over the loud roaring of the plane.

My son was constantly catching my gaze and smiling at me from his seat. It reiterated to me that it doesn't matter how tired my arms get from carrying them, or how annoyed I get when they keep calling me name. Even though I have watched Elmo's World more times than I care to remember, and have been peed on, pooped on, and puked on, I honestly wouldn't give it up for anything.

Want to hear the crazy part? I want more!

Love Times Three

I've never been a closed minded person. I've always thought that anything can happen and believed I should always give people a chance. This, however has gotten me into some uncomfortable situations in the past. Horrible dates, people getting the wrong impression.

But all in all, keeping that open mind has allowed me to have some incredible relationships and amazing friends. The people I have met and the things I have learned by simply listening with open ears to what someone had to say has allowed me to accept almost any belief.

Just when I thought I was the most accepting person in the world, I came across a book called Love Times Three. It's the story of a Polygamous marriage.

I know what your immediate thoughts are. Twelve year old brides in some excluded town that controls people based on fear and a warped brand of religion. Everyone has preconceived notions about things they are uninformed about or afraid of.

In relationships, you constantly hear about one or the other complaining about their spouse. "He wont do laundry." "She can't stand football."

Is it fair to expect everything we want in someone to only come from one person? By doing that, aren't we sucking the other person dry?

In marriages, sometimes, not all the time, but you see one or both spouses trying to change the other, or ask them to be or do things they wouldn't normally do. I get it. Compromise and sacrifice.

What if you could have more than just one person satisfying your needs? It's not just a sexual thing, for all you freaks thinking it's just an open way to cheat.

In this book, Joe has three wives. Three separate committed relationships where everyone in the family unit is working together, living in the same house raising their children.

What if your spouse isn't a great listener, or has a hard time being sensitive to your needs? Do you beg him to change or just blab to a close friend about it?

I am not saying I am all for this or even considering this as a lifestyle. I just thought it was interesting enough to blog about. The book is worth reading, and worth thinking about. It's supposed to be a free country so why shouldn't people be allowed to live the way that makes them happy? Or marry who they want to marry?

These are personal choices we should all be respectful of.

http://lovetimesthree.com/

Cohabitation and The To-Do List

There is one thing my husband and I have fought about since day one of living together, the dreaded household chores. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, dusting, and cooking. I don't know why men integrate the idea into their little brains that women will turn into these little cleaning fairies who flit around the house doing their dirty work.

My day cannot function without some kind of routine and organization. If my house is messy I get stressed. My home is my space, my retreat from the sometimes hateful world. If I enter my world of peace and am greeted by shoes and socks blocking the door, sinks full of dirty dishes, laundrey thrown on my bed to be folded I literally freak out.

Hmm . . . maybe I am the problem after all?

I just think men are oblivious to how any of it gets done at all and how important a clean space is.

I strip my kids beds once a week and wash their sheets and comforters and happened to be doing this on a day my hubby was home. He looks at me, confused, and said, "I didn't know you were supposed to wash all that."

Really? I bet you didn't know that every time you leave socks on the floor I toss them in the trash.

My idea of a clean house is so very far from my husband's idea of a clean house it's not even funny. Yes, as we have previously established, I am very OCD about . . . well, everything.

But here is the catch I struggle with: Greg works on average about sixty hours a week enabling me to basically be a stay at home mom and keep our lovies out of daycare. It's hard not to feel resentful when I have spent the whole day cleaning and he trots in with his shoes on no less, tosses his dishes in the sink and leaves crumbs all over the counter.

Do I even have the right to get mad after all his hard work?

If I don't know where he is in the house, all I have to do is follow his mess. A sock here, pair of shoes over there, cookie crumbs down the hall...

Do same sex relationships have these problems? If not, I am switching sides.

All joking aside, Greg and I have since worked out these little To-Do List issues( three years of whining about who is going to do what. At one point I actually stopped doing his laundry. It took him weeks to even notice.)

I will share a few tips on how to have a Happy Cohabitation.

1.Drop all expectations that your significant other will "just take care of it"

2. Don't toss shit on the floor. Laundry baskets, and dressers were made for a reason!

3. Emptying your razor shavings into the sink does not count as cleaning up after yourself

4. There is no such thing as a dust free house. Someone is dusting and if it aint you, it needs to be.

5. Cleaning can be fun! Make it a naughty weekend game. Dress up and "help" one another scrub the floor.

6. No matter how busy you are, it really takes like ten seconds to toss a few clothes into the washer or dryer.

7. Most importantly, couples who share chores have more sex! Really!

Happy cleaning.

Freak The Freak Out

Last night I had a pretty ridiculous emotional breakdown. It wasn't over anything specific. My daughter went to bed at 7:15 without so much as a whimper. My son and I watched a movie and he was asleep by nine. All in all a successful night.

I lit some candles, snuggled up on the couch and enjoyed the silence. I started thinking, a bit too much perhaps, about my life and where it was headed. Then I did the worst thing any person can do. I started comparing my life to other people my age and quickly began to feel like a failure.

Michele (my beautiful sister) has received countless promotions and is living it up in The Big Apple.

Chris (my brother) is just about a signature away from a record deal
You haven't finished college

You're wasting your time writing this book

Just a few of the thoughts that ran circles in my mind until it started spilling down my face for the following hour.

Sure, I am a great mother. I have overcome and accomplished so much in my life it would take a nine hundred page book and then some to cover it all. But I felt like there was still so much I wanted to accomplish and so little time to make it happen.

The worst thing I experienced last night was, feeling like I have worked my ass off for years, and still haven't reached my goal.

Yes, I am only twenty-five and still have so much of my life ahead of me, but for that hour last night, it dawned on me how fast time goes.

What road is best to travel? Maybe Robert Frost can help me figure that one out.

After a very emotional conversation with my brother, (he listened while I cried) he helped me realize how much I have to be thankful for and what I great job I am doing.

If it wasn't for my family, I don't know where my life would have drifted me. At the end of the day it doesn't matter if I ever get published, obtain a Master's degree, land a high paying job, or totally rule the world. ( I can dream a little, right?)

What matters is that I do things for me, and for my family. Success is not something defined by how much money you make, or how far you go in school or what school you graduate from. Success is an individual accomplishment that varies person to person.

I feel successful in my life right now. Nothing else really matters.

Seeing The Beauty

Maybe it is the aspiring writer within myself, feeling the constant need to adjust or fix everything, but I have re arranged my playroom for the seventh time this morning. One entire wall is brick and until this morning have yet to integrate it into the room. By simply placing an incredibly funky yet subtle mirror on the brick, it gave the room a whole new vibe.

When I look around I am constantly thinking of ways I can make something better. Always fidgeting, folding, adjusting, and moving picture frames, couches, blankets.

Maybe this means I have completely lost my mind and in forty or fifty years will be the nutty bag lady with way too many dogs who is always weeding a garden that doesn't have any weeds.

Or it is possible that I see the beauty in everything around me and the potential it holds deep within itself. My house for example as most of you know was purchased as a foreclosure. My husband and I have since been renovating every room in an attempt to unveil it's perfection.

I believe there comes a time that if you renovate too much or edit too much or pick someone apart too much, you begin to strip away someone or somethings true character while trying to turn it into something else.

If you have ever sanded a piece of wood, you know you have to "go with the grain". The same concept applies to life and novels and people. Sometimes the "flaws" aren't really flaws at all. It is something unique that we should try to see the beauty in by accepting it and working with it, not against it.

When Duty Calls

Today is the third annual Blacksburg Fork and Cork. I envisioned myself leisurely walking around sipping good wine and tasting delicious foods from various restaurants.

But, the only thing I will be doing today is getting my face painted and forcing myself to munch on a greasy slice of luke warm pizza that has been sitting in a box under the sun all afternoon at the school carnival. Then, I get to tote my already exhausted kids to my sons soccer game and attempt to keep Layla happy while simultaneously cheering on my son.

I have to do the mom thing today, instead of doing the, what I really want to do thing. I even came up with a possible solution, a compromise. I thought if I poured some wine into a water bottle I could pretend that I was actually walking around the Fork and Cork and not the carnival, but then driving around under the influence with kids in the car is just stupid, so that idea is out. My other solution was telling my son his soccer game was cancelled and taking the kids with me to the Fork and Cork...but that's just too cruel to even talk about any further.

Sometimes the boring kid stuff just has to come before the things we as moms would rather be doing. And despite the complaining, once we get to the carnival I know I will realize there isn't any other place I would rather be then with my kids, getting my face painted, carrying melted flavored ice as it drips down my arms causing everything to stick to my hands, and sipping a warm bottle of water, not a crisp glass of wine.

Punish the Deed, Not the Breed

My family and I recently adopted a Rottweiler mix and the reaction from some friends and family was, "Are you guys crazy. Those dogs are so dangerous!"

This is just one of many breeds that has been pinpointed for scrutinizing. The Rottweiler, among Pit bulls and others are a particular breed that is manipulated to become aggressive and dangerous, therefore singled out as being evil. If any dog is mistreated, chained up, not spayed or neutered, or not socialized properly they are at risk for being dangerous.

The Rottweiler is listed as the ninth smartest dog in the world. They are incredibly loyal and loving. Maggie, our Rottie, is only eight weeks old and already housebroken!

Not everybody is a responsible pet owner, and owning certain dog breeds requires the proper knowledge, time, and ability to socialize and train your pet. Not doing so results in an unbalanced, dangerous animal.

It isn't fair to blame a particular breed in general. The situation needs to be broken down to a case by case basis. What were the circumstances that these particular dogs attacked?

In a recent case last February, a Rottweiler attacked a five year old boy after the dog was left in the care of a drug addict and the parents of the little boy said, " I blame the owner more than the animal."

This particular Rottweiler obviously wasn't socialized properly and was running around a community garden scared and without supervision. Not having responsible owners resulted in a very unbalanced animal. The dog was destroyed after the attack, which is also unfair.

The drug addict that was supposed to be responsible for the dog was offered rehabilitation, and the dog was killed.

If a child isn't raised in a safe consistent environment, and that child goes to school in a bad mood, causing them to attack, or get into a fight with another student causing that child to need hospitalization and stitches, do we put the child that started the fight to sleep, deeming them "unbalanced and out of control?"

Dogs deserve rehabilitation too. They don't choose their owners or how they are raised. A child bites someone and we say, "oh, they don't know any better, it's just a phase."
A puppy, or dog bites someone, and we say, "oh my god, that dog is bad, just put him down."

How can we expect a dog to know better if they were never trained to know better?

Owning any dog breed is a risk, and there are never any guarantees, but taking every precaution and doing everything you can as a dog owner is the key to a happy balanced pet.Research a particular breed before commiting to ownership and make sure you know how to train your pet.

Most importantly, time for your pet in important too. Adopting a dog, then letting it roam around your yard by itself all day, or chaining it up isn't being a good pet owner.

Socialize your pet by bringing it with you on long walks, soccer games, dog parks, or out to lunch. Especially Rottweilers, who tend to be cautious of strangers. Know your breed before you buy. Keep and open mind, don't judge.

Check out this link! http://www.librarydogs.com/Missouri_Hero-Halo-Megan.html
http://www.librarydogs.com/

My Mood With Food

With two kids, an eighty pound dog, a new puppy, and a husband who works all the time, I am usually left to fend for myself at some of the most difficult times of the day. The dreaded homework hour, trying to keep my daughter and our new puppy busy during my son's soccer practice and the most difficult task...making dinner.

Grilling chicken stove-top while slowly sipping a glass of red wine is a nightly fantasy of mine. The reality check is me with my hair in a messy pony tail carrying a child in one arm, stirring with the other. My phone is usually ringing and at least once during dinner time, someone spills an entire glass of something all over themselves, the floor, and one of the dogs, who is anxiously waiting under the table where food is constantly falling.

Last night was one of those crazy nights. Sean's soccer game didn't end until after seven which means we weren't eating dinner until eight and after the indoor swimming pool my daughter made in the bathroom was cleaned up, I was ready for the night to be over.

My husband can usually tell what kind of a day it's been based on what we have had for dinner. If my response is, "We just had eggs and turkey bacon," he responds with, "Oh, no! What happened today?"

Now, if he comes home and I am sauteing mushrooms and onions beside mesquite chicken grilling, he knows it's safe to hug and kiss me hello.

I love the instant gratification that a naughty food choice gives me. The way an oreo tastes after it has been generously dunked in a frigid glass of milk. Buuut, since my weight loss/weight lifting journey began two years ago...I have to grab a handful of almonds and say, "Damn these almonds rock!" And mean it.

Kids love eating breakfast foods for dinner. My son told me I was the best mom in the whole world when I said, " Do you just want pancakes for dinner tonight?"

Worried about the veggies? Give them a glass of V8 splash and you are good to go.
Don't stress, no where on your grave will it say:THIS MOM DIDN"T MAKE GOURMET MEALS EVERY NIGHT!

Besides, it's only one night, right? Or two...okay okay maybe three depending on your week.

Spring Is Here

As you can tell, my blog has gotten a complete make-over. A new look and a fresh start is needed every once in a while to recharge yourself, or your surroundings. Have you ever rearranged some furniture or hung a new funky piece of art in your living room? Sometimes these small changes are a big deal. Life is so hectic and people are always in a hurry to get from point A to B but the most important place to actually be is your home.

With spring just around the corner, I know I feel that urge to declutter and maybe repaint the kids playroom, plant some flowers, and give myself a little jolt.

Between my daily trips to the gym, play class, soccer practice, karate, and swimming I am freaking exhausted. As a mom, it's super easy to give up and go to that drive thru for take-out or skip the am shower. Women are strong and amazing and I know we all have it in us to keep going. A few quick tips to keep yourself energized and looking fabulous. (Even when your lugging around a tote bag full of wet swim suits, or cheering on your little one at a soccer game.)

1. If you know your day is going to be a busy one, skip that sugar packed energy drink and take a multi-vitamin instead. Carry around healthy snacks like, almonds or walnuts, half a turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread with some fresh spinach, or red peppers and hummus. These all boost energy naturally and will leave you feeling fuller longer and not exceeding 200 calories.

2.Drink water. Getting dehydrated can leave you feeling pretty crappy. Plus, drinking plenty of water is fabulous for your skin.

3. Treat yourself to a small shopping trip, or a relaxing pedicure. Nothing like a new outfit to jump start a busy weekend. Strapped for cash? No biggie, stores like Charlotte Russe have amazing clearance racks and happy hour specials for even more savings.

4.Decluttering is always a breath of fresh air...once your done. Instead of throwing it away, give it away :) Once man's trash is another man's treasure. :)

5.Plant trees or flowers in your yard for some fun spring color. And, it's nice to look at when you pull in your driveway after a rough day. :)

6. Try something new, especially if you have some pent up frustrations or anger. Take up kick boxing or MMA. You'll burn a ton of calories and get to beat the crap out of a boxing bag.