Wants and Needs

It's been a while since I have posted anything-- Life tends to get in the way, and sometimes it goes in a direction that you don't plan for. My life took an unexpected turn, and it opened my eyes to a lot.

People in general think they are entitled to a lot. We also think we "NEED" things. And by things I mean, specific styles, clothes, furniture, more than one or two, or even three of things. We convince ourselves we need more space, new things, or just shit around our house that looks nice.

If you close your eyes, or were blind. How much of that stuff  you think you need even matters. I can answer that for you. None of it! Now, answer these questions. Is there a roof over your head? Are you warm and clothed? You can't see the clothes your wearing so as long as they fit, fuck what brand they are. If you answered yes, which you should have, you are already have more than most people.

Why do you work? To make money, right? What do you spend most of your money on? I bet on a lot of shit you don't even need. You think you need a bigger house, or a better car.

I'm finally settled in my townhouse, and the appliances aren't what anyone would consider new. Brand new-- a few years old-- whatever. They do the same thing. A fridge keeps your food cold, oven heats it up. People are very easily convinced that if it looks newer it does a better job of keeping your food cold. Well, it doesn't and you're an idiot. The fridge in my townhouse doesn't have an ice maker--so I fill ice trays. One day my son said to me, "Why can't we just put the glass up to the fridge and get ice like normal people."

This really bothered me because kids become accustomed to things that make them appreciate everything less and less. My response to him was, "Be thankful you have an ice cube to put in your drink at all."

As long as the sun comes out everyday and we have the illusion that everything in this world is great, we will all go on being convinced we need newer stuff, and have to upgrade to this, and buy that. You should stop and ask yourself what the hell you are doing. Simplify your life and appreciate the smallest things. Ask yourself what you would do without it, because I guarantee that you don't even really need it.

Try these few things and see if you can actually follow through.

1. Close your eyes and pick out your clothes blind for two days in a row.

2. Take a road trip--without the use of mapquest or any electronic device.

3. (If your feeling giving) Go through everything in your house, and ask yourself if you really need it. If you don't, just give it to someone who really does.

Happy Father's Day Daddy!

There are all different kinds of father's in the world and I think a father's role gets overlooked. It takes a very special man to be an amazing dad. Women kind of get a head start when it comes to being a parent-- they feel love as soon as they take that first pregnancy test.

A father's love build and builds until the day his child is born and then he explodes with love. I know this because my own dad always refers to the day I was born and the love he felt for me. It must of been real love because my mom was in labor with me for 36 hours and I was the ugliest newborn baby ever.

Aside from that, I spent mornings watching my dad get ready for work,and I have fond memories of him blasting music in our living room and dancing with us, to humming me to sleep every night as a little girl. A tune I now hum to my children.

Girls especially, well... me especially... didn't make being a father any easier on my dad. I always say I am responsible for all his gray hair because of the things I have done, the boys I brought home for him to meet, and crazy life choices I was "so sure were the right ones".

Throughout it all, no matter how bad things were, or how terrified I was to tell him something, he has always stood beside me, supporting me, and helping me find a way to make things better. He has never judged me or loved me any less because of it.

My dad is a father who has gone even further than above and beyond not just for me, but for his whole family. It's his driving force in life and means more to him than anything else. I want my dad to know that he means more to me than anything else and I can't even imagine who I would be today if I didn't have his constant advice and unbelievable work ethic and love for his family. My dad doesn't just talk about life and the way things should be, he is an amazing example of what it takes to be a wonderful dad.

I feel incredibly blessed and so lucky to have such an incredible dad and a strong sense of faith and family! I love you so much, Daddy! Happy Father's Day to an upstanding MAN and FATHER!!!

It's been quite a while since I have blogged and there is good reason for that. Let's just say life doesn't always follow the path we set for ourselves, or we end up following the path other people are on and like I told a friend of mine, all that does is lead us somewhere we were never supposed to be in the first place and we have to start completely over again.

Some people have a very lucid idea of what their life holds for them starting in high school. They know exactly what college they are going to, what they will study, and even what kind of job they will get when they graduate, maybe even who they will marry how many children they will have and so on...

Me-- I've never really known. I wasn't even sure I wanted kids until I found out I was pregnant with my son, Sean. Then again with my daughter, Layla. Life has a funny way of deciding for us. I am completely blessed life threw me those curve balls because it was the most amazing twist in my haphazard idea of a plan.

There comes a time when we have to stop letting life decide and we need to take control back and decide for ourselves. We need to make things happen for ourselves instead of just letting things happen to ourselves.

I've had to make some crazy hard decisions lately, decisions that are a result of me taking control of my own life back. It is the scariest thing I've ever done, but I've never been more sure that what I'm doing is right.

People in general have a way of making you question yourself and your character. I've come to the conclusion that life itself doesn't suck, people suck... some people anyway, and if you surround yourself with the right kind of people, life can be amazing and inspiring and good. There are still honest, loving, and loyal people in the world, you just have to weed out the assholes and find them. Unfortunately, there are crazy uphill battles we go through in order to figure out who is really standing besides us.

But the good ones will be the ones that offer a helping hand or a kind embrace without expecting anything in return. They will be the ones who offer objective advice and supportive actions and who will stick it out with you no matter how bad or uncomfortable things get. And when they do get bad, they are the ones calling you everyday to make sure you are okay.

People do things with all kinds of intentions and motives. Emotion drives peoples decisions instead of logic sometimes. And there is always a time and place for everything. There is a time when emotion needs to be taken into consideration and then a time when he needs to be pushed aside.

Only I know what is right and best for me, and that may not be what is right or best for someone else, but it's my life and no matter what anyone says, or what anyone does, nobody can take that from me!

Following Your Head Or Your Heart

Ever hear people say, "Just follow your heart." First off, who are these "people" that say this kind of stuff? And second, sometimes following your heart isn't the path reality allows. My head and my heart are constantly at war and because I usually put others before myself, my head wins and I endure the pain of not allowing my heart to choose.

It's very easy to judge other people's choices and the paths they take. But only they know the motivation behind the choice and maybe their hearts guided them, maybe not. Either way, following your heart is harder than making the logical decision or doing what is considered "the right thing to do" because following your heart is a leap of faith. There is only hope that everything will work out the way you want it to.

"You play with fire, you might get burned, but the thrill of doing something dangerous will always be with you." It's the experiences in life that make us who we are, and the way we handle those experiences are a true judge of character.

I worry about everything constantly and always ponder the outcome of countless scenarios. I don't have the courage to follow my heart because I'm scared of what will happen. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a huge control freak and if I can't predict the outcome of a certain situation I usually don't even try. Sometimes I more afraid of failing than trying at all and that in itself is a failure. There are probably countless things I have missed out on because I was too afraid to try and give something new a chance.

So, recently I decided I was tired of being scared and always wondering "what if?" and I've stepped out of my comfort zone and already done things I would never have done before as a way to fill the void in my heart, make it whole again, and become the fearless woman I know is inside me somewhere. I've been talking about cutting all my hair off for years. I would make appointment and end up only trimming my hair, or only getting a few inches cut off the ends. A few weeks ago I finally did it. I cut over ten inches off my hair and now have a pixie cut. The best part is that I was able to donate it all to Locks of Love.

There are several other BIG life changes taking place, I'm just not ready to blog about it yet. ;) Never be afraid to do ANYTHING or follow your heart. You never know where life will lead you, but it won't lead you anywhere until you take that first step forward!

**Beautiful In Your Skin**

There is a lot of buzz about weight and being healthy, or I should say being skinny. I don't want anyone to think I am being a hypocrite with this post. I work out four to five days a week, and am a pretty fit person. This is a personal choice and isn't done because I am obsessed with being skinny. Working out is a true passion and something I enjoy.

I'm not on the elliptical for hours on end, or starving myself all week. I do a few group fitness classes like Absolute Core, and Cycle. These classes are so inspiring and uplifting.

I also work in some weight training for healthy strong muscles. Every women should know how to through a freaking killer punch...and hurt the person their hitting, not themselves. :)

There is a big difference between being healthy and being a skinny waif. Being healthy entails eating the right foods, integrating exercise into your routine, getting enough sleep, and drinking plenty of water. Someone can be skinny and be unhealthy. Your body needs food. We sometimes don't eat the right kinds.

There are certain vitamins and nutrients your body needs and fast food and soda isn't part of that at all.

We all need to maintain a healthy body fat level but it's hard to do that if you have no clue what yours is or what the numbers mean. Any local gym can test your body fat levels.

For women, the average body fat level is 25%-31% but keep in mind obese is 32% or more. Fitness is between 21%-24% and athletes are between 14%-20% below that we get into the Essential fat, 10%-13% which is the minimum amount of fat your body needs.

Body fat is only one measure of health, but there are dangers to having excess body fat. It's linked to things such as heart disease, cancer and diabetes. If you are obese, it takes more energy for you to breathe, causing your heart to work harder to pump blood through your veins. All this extra work can cause your heart to become enlarged and result in high blood pressure and erratic heart beats.

Your body fat levels can also be too low, making you more susceptible to getting colds/flu. This can also stop your menstrual cycle making you temporarily infertile. If you stop menstruating, you could develop a condition known as amenorrhea, you may experience a decrease in hormones that can cause premature bone loss due to insufficient estrogen production.

The most important thing is to know your health. Know your blood pressure and cholesterol levels. Our minds are fixated on fatty, sugary foods because they give us a quick boost of energy. But do you ever notice how quickly your energy plummets?

Beauty and health isn't whats on the outside, it's what's on the inside.
If you eat half a bag of baby carrots, I promise you won't feel full and sluggish the way you do when you eat half a bag of chips.

If you take care of your body, it will take care of you. Ask yourself this: would you sit down and eat little pieces of shit? Or drink processed chemicals? Probably not right? Well... take a good look at the ingredients of what you consume on a daily basis and think again!

You don't have to go on some freak diet, or starve yourself. You really don't. Just change your habits. Instead of going through the drive-thru, take an extra five minutes to pack your lunch for work. Eat more whole grains and minimally unprocessed foods. Toss that bag of Doritos and take an apple and a handful of almonds. You will feel more energized and remember a healthy you is a beautiful you no matter what size, shape, or color your body is!

YOUR BEAUTIFUL! Stretch marks are beautiful, shape is beautiful. Your body tells a story of the amazing journey you have been through as a woman.

Throwing Stones

My facebook status has been inspiring blog posts so writing a blog post two days in a row is freaking awesome for me.

I was thinking about how easy it is to point fingers and judge other people for their actions or choices. We are all so quick to criticize, even I'm so guilty of this at times.

Here is a little test for you:

You're walking down a city street and you see a homeless man laying on top of a cardboard box. His teeth are rotten and brown, clothes tattered and dirty. Completely shameless, he holds out a cup trying to collect money for his next meal. He is weak and mumbling.

Now, do you feel badly for him and throw some change in his cup, or are you annoyed and grossed out by this man?

What if I told you this man's family was killed in a house fire and he watched his daughter slowly burn to death because he wasn't able to reach her. Because of this tragedy he began drinking to cope with the pain and lost his job. Not caring what happened to him, he fell victim to the streets without any motivation to pick him back up. So now what do you think about this man?

Here's another one:

You read about some thug who shot two police officers and tried run when arrested for dealing drugs. You immediately think he is a horrible person right? Someone who deserves to rot in jail forever.

What if I told you that this particular man grew up in poverty with six brothers and sisters and never knew as a child when or if he would eat. He repeatedly watched his mom bring home different men and barely stayed in one apartment long enough to remember his address. He was always hungry and cold so he found a way to make money and protect himself. He was never motivated, felt loved, or even hugged.

Our actions as friends, as parents affect the way other people's lives turn out. We are more powerful than we think we are. Have you ever been starving or had your heat or electricity cut off? Have you ever experienced a death of a loved one so horrible it was impossible to shut your eyes? Have you ever been terrified of falling asleep?

You never know what your capable of doing when when put in a compromising situation or what you would do to ensure your children had some kind of food or shelter. Maybe your the person right now who is thinking these people should have known better or found God or reached out to someone.

These are easy suggestions and people do desperate things in desperate situations. No one has the right to judge someone or point a finger. Open your mind and think about the series of events of that particular person's life that may have lead them to where they are.

Maybe you can be the one to make a change or offer help. You never know until you try. All it takes is one person to say, "I'm here for you and I want to make a difference."

People might just surprise you if you give them a chance. Keep your head up and your eyes open. Race, clothes, class, even someones behavior does not always define them.

First impressions suck! Sometimes we need to take a deeper look.

Keep Moving Forward

This is my first post of the New Year. I know, shame on me for waiting almost a whole month before getting to it.

Whether it's a job, or friends,the weather--if you live where I do! Things in life hardly ever stay the same. Life itself is constantly changing and growing, maybe even getting better is some ways.

I was out with a good friend of mine last week and we got talking about life and how fast time passes us by. We then realized that this year we turn twenty-seven and are only three years away from being thirty. This concept seriously freaked me out because I don't feel almost thirty or think I look like it either, but hey, I'm hopeful.

Having that conversation made me realize how short life is and that in any given moment fate can throw us a curve ball and things can spiral into a new direction, sometimes for the better and other times for the worst.

All we can do is keep moving forward, surround ourselves with inspiring and loving people and never loose faith that what is meant to be with happen when it is supposed to. Not to say you aren't allowed to do whatever it takes to speed up the process because nothing in life is handed to us... unless you're the child of a celebrity.

"**Sometimes we have to endure things we don't want to and deal with pain so deep it hurts to breathe-- Staying strong and moving forward is half the battle--Waking up one morning and realizing you got through it in one piece is winning the war**"

The most important thing to remember is no matter what you go through in life, or how bad the pain you're feeling is, it will fade with time, it will end one day and you will be a much stronger person.

Everyone has made mistakes or did something to hurt somebody else, so... apologize, or admit to being wrong. Things won't fix themselves and someone has to take the first step.